I live in a part of Edinburgh where dodgy meets posh. If you turn one corner you meet Valvona and Crolla – an Italian delicatessen that attracts more pashminas, wax jackets and green Wellington boots than Prince William at St.Andrews University. If you turn the other corner you are in a world of old men masturbating in public, casual violence, and drunks struggling out of the gutter.
The other day I was walking near Valvona and Crolla, and was waiting for the green man to cross the road. Up behind me I heard a strained voice, a small woman with hair down to her waist with a full length mushroom coloured mac saying ‘I will not wear my skirt up my arse for any man’, ‘I will not wear a skirt up my arse for any man’.
She looked at me, and repeated herself again ‘I will not wear a skirt up my arse for any man’ more loudly and insistently. I know it sounds strange but her voice had that same desperation as a mother bird who calls incessantly for a lost chick who she will never find. I was about to ask her the woman if she was all right but I noticed that each time she repeated her mantra she would gnash her teeth and foam at the mouth. I was scared and stepped away.
I’ve seen her a few more times, she looks happier, somewhere beyond where posh meets dodgy.
The other day I was walking near Valvona and Crolla, and was waiting for the green man to cross the road. Up behind me I heard a strained voice, a small woman with hair down to her waist with a full length mushroom coloured mac saying ‘I will not wear my skirt up my arse for any man’, ‘I will not wear a skirt up my arse for any man’.
She looked at me, and repeated herself again ‘I will not wear a skirt up my arse for any man’ more loudly and insistently. I know it sounds strange but her voice had that same desperation as a mother bird who calls incessantly for a lost chick who she will never find. I was about to ask her the woman if she was all right but I noticed that each time she repeated her mantra she would gnash her teeth and foam at the mouth. I was scared and stepped away.
I’ve seen her a few more times, she looks happier, somewhere beyond where posh meets dodgy.
2 comments:
Very strange, but I like it!!
Very odd!
Reminds me of the time a youngish, white, woman beggar asked me for money in Cape Town. This was about 15 years ago when white beggars were VERY rare. Still rare but not uncommon now. I've always tended to be a bit of a sucker when it comes to pitiful beggars but some 'reverse-racism' came to the fore and I asked her, very patronisingly 'Why don't you go get a job?'.
She erupted, screaming and shouting at me, following me up the escalator in the rather posh shopping mall.
Fuck, did I get a fright! She was obviously totally loopy but it taught me a lesson.
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